tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-957905281201979960.post3678718206859773866..comments2018-01-30T23:04:26.041-08:00Comments on Jen Widrig: Such a PersonJen Widrighttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13174396169624795499noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-957905281201979960.post-31101455442911925662010-02-08T14:20:30.230-08:002010-02-08T14:20:30.230-08:00Hi there,
Just popped over from Teacher Tom's ...Hi there,<br />Just popped over from Teacher Tom's and wanted to tell you just how much I enjoyed this post (and Teacher Tom's comments). I have two boys and I can't tell you how many times I've heard those comments and, yes, they drive me crazy. Almost as crazy as the comments (usually from family) that I'm not encouraging my boys to be "boy enough." We're all socialized in ways that are under the radar, so to speak, and I agree with Teacher Tom that one of the best things we can do as parents and caregivers is to avoid placing value on these things and just let them explore, even when they're doing "typical boy" stuff--digging and dumping, play fighting with bad guys, etc. Though when my youngest walks around with a purse on his shoulder, even though I don't carry one myself, I want to jump for joy and say, "see See SEE! It's not innate, you nincompoops (my older son's favorite word right now)!" :)dv.x.3https://www.blogger.com/profile/17097937663389205624noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-957905281201979960.post-25470025700484496602010-01-06T17:13:33.469-08:002010-01-06T17:13:33.469-08:00Heh, I had a similar reaction to people saying, &q...Heh, I had a similar reaction to people saying, "He's such a boy," about my child as well, although the fact that she is a girl gave me a built-in rejoinder. =)<br /><br />I tend to believe that nurture is a lot more powerful than nature when it comes to gender-typical behavior, but I think it's reinforced in such tiny, almost unnoticeable ways from the moment they are born that it's impossible to root out. Thing as simple as the tendency to allow boy babies to roam slightly farther away than girl babies, or the slightly higher likelihood that we hold our girl babies facing toward us and our boy babies facing away, get things going right from the start. <br /><br />I tried so hard to raise a tomboy, but instead, the moment she was old enough to start stating preferences, it was always for pink, fluffy and sparkly. What I've decided is more important than trying to avoid having our children learn cultural gender expectations (which they'll learn whether we like it or not) is to work hard to not value one over the other.<br /><br />The challenging truth is that most kids become increasingly "hard core" about their gender-typical behaviors up until they're 8-9 years old as they sort out their own gender identity. The good news is that after that, they start to understand -- intellectually, at least -- that their own behavior/preferences/etc. don't have to fit inside that box. When I look at my now 13-year-old and her classmates, it sure seems to me that they are less gender rigid than we were at that age. This tells me that our little efforts, even if they seem pathetic against the tidal wave of the culture, are actually having an impact.<br /><br />Sorry to write a book in your comments!Teacher Tomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14606781724784785338noreply@blogger.com